Imagine a world where everyone was kind to one other, looked out for each other and is genuinely concerned about the wellbeing of others. Sounds ideal right?

Well, unfortunately, that might be considered an overly optimistic imagination as it seems humanity is gradually heading to the opposite end of that notion. These days, being kind comes across as the exception more than the rule, and experiencing some random act of kindness from some stranger doesn’t come so often.

The message of kindness is not in any way novel. From Mahatma Gandhi to Mother Teresa, to the many others that have preached this message across generations, we have not lacked insight on the necessity of being kind to our thriving as a collective species. But regardless of the numerous passionate pleas from concerned individuals, they seem to be falling on deaf ears.

This increasing deviation from a utopian society begs a very important question: Why are people mean if kindness benefits everyone?

A Defense Mechanism

To help answer this question, we might as well turn to the psychology of human interactions and a little digging will quickly uncover a number of explanations as to why people put up a mean attitude towards others. Some are “logical” (even though the logic behind most can be argued), and other explanations are more twisted and complicated.

From what I gathered, it is safe to say that for some folks, being mean to others is often a reaction to either fear, hurt, or some form of weakness or insecurity. Some use meanness as a shield to cover their fears and insecurities. When they feel inferior or find themselves in vulnerable situations, they act mean towards others to reinforce their sense of superiority. For others, previous experiences of hurt can trigger a mean attitude either as a defense against future hurt or as a form of vengeance.

For another group of people, their rude personalities are simply a result of faulted upbringings. They grew up internalizing the mean attitudes of those around them and now that they’re out in the world, they have no idea how to act differently. Other reasons such as cultural differences and some emotional immaturity also play a role in some cases. And then, there’s the group of people that choose to be mean because of the attention it brings them. You know, like the popular bully in school that everyone fears.

Putting it all together, it is easier to be mean than to be kind. Being kind requires us to let out guards down, heal from a hurt, unlearn and relearn certain things, and sometimes be vulnerable.

Kindness, A Better Remedy

All of the aforelisted reasons why people are mean and rude have one flaw in common. They are egocentric. A closer look at all the triggers mentioned above shows that it’s all about doing what is convenient with little or no regard to the feelings of others and how their attitudes negatively impact others.

This mode of thinking is problematic. The world is an interconnected web of people and we all need other people to get by. Considering your own feelings in isolation and discarding that of others proves detrimental in the long run. On the other hand, there are a lot of benefits associated with dishing out kindness to those around us.

Why Kindness?

The saying “what goes around comes around” holds true in many ways. Life indeed has a way of serving us a dose of our own medicine —directly or indirectly. So the kindness you show to someone doesn’t only serve to bless the person on the receiving end. It also serves as a seed you sow, to reap later in life.

It has also been medically proven that being kind presents some benefits to human health. Kindness is regarded as a natural way to relieve anxiety as well as reduce stress. An act of kindness can surprisingly reduce your anxiety and ease your stress. Also, kindness is said to release the hormone oxytocin which helps with maintaining the chemical balance of our hearts. No wonder they say nice, caring people have large hearts —they sure do!

Being kind also helps our interpersonal relationships. You’re more likely to attract genuine positive people to yourself. And the resulting relationships can eventually change your life for the better in the long run.

And aside from the personal benefits, kindness is also a means to impact others positively and leave footprints in their lives that they can remember with a smile. It also gives them an opportunity to pay it forward knowing that it can change someone’s life too. This eventually sparks a domino effect of kindness chain that makes for a better society.

Be The Kind One

Some months ago, I stumbled on Thoraya Maronesy’s YouTube channel, and her primary message happens to be Kindness, especially to strangers. I ended up binge-watching her videos. To celebrate her “1 million subscribers” milestone, she carried out 1 million random acts of kindness to strangers. To be fair, there weren’t all exclusive acts, but she did reach out to a million people collectively. And as little as some of these gestures were, they made the recipients really happy.

One comment that stood out to me on that particular video read “Instead of saying ‘we need more people like her’, say ‘I’m gonna be like her'”. And that is my simple message to you today. Be that person that shows kindness to random people who need it. Whether it’s in helping the old lady cross the street, or in giving alms to people in need, or in helping a friend get through hard times, be the kind one and watch the universe reward you handsomely.