Back in November 2020, after much deliberation, I took the plunge and launched this blog space. At first, I wasn’t sure if the thoughts I set out to share were meaningful enough, or if at all I was even qualified to have an opinion on certain issues, but I decided to do it anyway. Six months and some 20- something posts later, and sometimes, I still feel like a fraud at the brink of being called out.

The content I put out is genuine, and I don’t write on things I can’t relate to, but from time to time, I can’t help but think that sooner or later, people will see through my creative packaging and discover just how basic my ideas are, or even worse, expose how flawed they are.

This feeling goes beyond blogging. It subtly finds expression whenever some sort of importance is placed on my work or whenever I have to take on relatively huge responsibilities. As a photographer, I often experience some sense of nervousness going into photoshoots or having to cover huge events. Thoughts like “What if I’m not that good a photographer?”, “They’re about to discover that I’m just a regular guy with a camera” parade my head in such moments.

Of course, the effort invested in bettering my craft and the subsequent results prove otherwise, but it’s often not enough to stop the knots from forming in my stomach just before the next shoot. As a matter of fact, the more results I experience, the more I fear being called out. Each success seems to raise the bar even higher, and with every compliment or positive feedback I get, it feels like there’s a counter chance that my cover is about to be blown.

This feeling of inadequacy even in the face of apparent results is popularly known as Imposter’s Syndrome.

Pluralistic Ignorance

This phenomenon is no stranger for many folks and seems to plague almost everyone with some success in whatever venture they’re engaged in. Many successful figures across various fields have confessed to having experienced this rather counterintuitive feeling. Logically, more success should brood more confidence, but that isn’t the case for most of us.

The very fact of knowing that we’re not alone in this, coupled with the awareness that this feeling is often sponsored by some level of success in our craft, should provide some relief to our concerns. This eliminates the concept of “pluralistic ignorance” that makes us believe we are the only ones with such feelings out there and every other person is the genius that we are not.

But why do we feel this way?

There are a lot of possible reasons why we feel undeserving of the accolades even when we have plausible results, but I’ll consider just two of such reasons that have influenced my own feeling of incompetence.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect

With blogging, I felt incompetent from the get-go, but with photography, it was different. I was more confident of my potential as a photographer. I thought all that was needed to become a “pro” was a good camera, a dedicated Instagram page, and a laptop to process the images. Well, I knew I had to watch some tutorials here and there, but it shouldn’t be that hard, I thought.

It didn’t take long for me to realize how naive I was in my thinking. Soon enough, it dawned on me how genuinely incompetent I was and I was humbled. Well, I took to learning and polishing my craft, and like every other thing, with time, I got better. However, irrespective of my evident improvement, the feeling of incompetence lingered.

The Dunning-Kruger Effect Curve

The Dunning-Kruger effect curve succinctly explains the various phases in my experience. The labeling is rather hilarious, but it does justice in conveying the message.

My initial overestimation of my ability as a photographer placed me at the peak of “Mount Stupid”. I was over-confident –more like ignorant– with zero experience. The phase is usually short-lived though as people soon realize that the reality of their capabilities is far less than they imagined. This realization brings about a special kind of humility and drives you to the “valley of despair”.

Now, this is where the whole feeling of incompetence sets in. Interestingly, you’re better off at this stage, in terms of experience, than you were at “Mt. Stupid”. With more experience, you begin to climb up the “slope of enlightenment” as your confidence starts to build again.

The problem though is that some people’s “valley of despair” stretches longer than others – meaning even with more experience, the confidence in their abilities seems to be on the low side. So they could achieve pro status at their craft in terms of experience, but continue to think that they’re probably still not good enough. It took me a while to ascend the slope of enlightenment confidence-wise.

I came across this analysis after I had overcome my “valley of despair” phase and the accuracy was scary. Even more interesting was the fact that I was able to relate to it in my experience because I was oblivious of it.
The First Rule of the Dunning-Kruger Club: You do not know you’re in the Dunning-Kruger Club
It totally makes sense as I would not have ascended “Mt. Stupid” if I knew about it.

The Spotlight Effect

Another “effect” right? Lol. There’s something about the fancy names that make them interesting:)
I encountered the term not too long ago in a YouTube video on the same topic by Ali Abdaal, and I resonated with it.

Simply put, The Spotlight Effect is the delusion that people are constantly paying attention to your every move and notice all your misdoings. We often tend to exaggerate how much attention people pay to our business. Given that we are the center of all our concerns and most of our thoughts revolve around our lives, it is easy to assume that the spotlight is on us are every other person is observing keenly. So we fear that they’ll eventually see through us. Of course, this is hardly the case. The truth is everyone else is engrossed in their individual concerns and folks barely have time to notice our every move.

In my own experience as a photographer, I eventually discovered that the clients/models in those photoshoots were equally as nervous about their appearance and poses in front of the camera. Most times, they looked up to me as the “professional” to take the reins and help them deal with their own concerns. In those moments, they were far less concerned about how good a photographer I am, as they had to worry about their part of the job.

With this knowledge, I shifted my focus from how they perceived me as a photographer to how can I help them ease their own nervousness in front of the camera. This simple change allowed me to confidently bring my expertise to the table as well ease the general tension on set.

To tie everything up…

You are probably much more capable than you think you are. Your results are very much valid and so is your experience in your craft. And lastly, the world does not revolve around you. So show up with confidence, put up your best performance, deliver, repeat!