It was the final action of the game. The tension in the atmosphere was palpable—the drama in the last 15 minutes of the match culminated in this decisive moment. Everyone in the stadium was up on their feet and held their breath in anticipation as the player stepped up to take the penalty kick. The fate of the local football team and the entire city rested on his shoulders. Missing the penalty meant instant relegation, but a goal would give them another chance at survival through playoffs.

The referee blew his whistle… One… Two… And nothing… He missed it.

It was over. The excitement that rang through the stands minutes ago was replaced with silent grief as fans started trooping out of the stadium. The players were crestfallen. Some could barely carry themselves off the pitch, and others could be seen crying in despair.

These were the scenes at the game I attended yesterday, and as I stood watching the dejected players and fans, I could only feel sorry for them. “It’s the hope that kills you”, I thought to myself.

*****

“The Hope”

It was the last game of the season. Both teams haven’t fared so well all season long, and the relegation battle was down to the wire. Having won just one of their last ten games, Rubin Kazan faced a potential exit from the league — a surprising turn of events as they’re pretty much regarded as one of the top clubs in the competition.

Since coming into the league some 20 years ago, they quickly rose to the top, commanding some level of dominance and winning the league title a couple of times. They have also featured in the European tournaments a good number of times. So no one expected them to be in the position they found themselves.

Well… Life is full of surprises, innit?

However, there was hope, and they weren’t going down without a fight. Fortunately, they had the advantage of hosting their opponents. So they decided to give out free tickets to their home fans in exchange for moral support in their fight for safety. And it worked. People turned up for the game in numbers and occupied almost half of the 45000 capacity stadium.

Everything looked to be going to plan when they went ahead through a penalty in the first half. But no one predicted what the second half brought. The opponents came out of the tunnel with a renewed hunger and dominated their hosts the entire half. They soon got a deserved equalizer, and the hosts were ready to settle for a draw, but their visitors weren’t satisfied.

They pressed on and eventually took the lead in the 90th minute, which seemed to seal the game’s fate. But the game wasn’t over yet, and moments later, the hosts got another chance to restore parity to the game and possibly save themselves. That was how we arrived at the scenes I described earlier.

Hopes were revived, only to be dashed again.

*****

The Relationship Between Hope and Despair

Being a Manchester United fan has taught me not to invest emotions in the game of football. Even though I had hoped my city’s team would come out victorious, I was more of a neutral spectator. In fact, I was only there because my friend and I got free tickets to the game, and we thought it was a fun way to spend time at the weekend.

I could relate to their pain in some way, though. Disappointments and failures are never pleasant, and you bet I’ve had my fair share of those (more of that in another post).

Disappointments in themselves can be pretty painful, but the pain is further amplified if you have high hopes of getting a positive outcome—the woe of falling out hits even harder when success is in close proximity but never arrives.

It’s like filling a balloon with air and having it explode in your face. The higher the hope and anticipation, the greater the potential despair when it doesn’t come through. Even the Bible says, “Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a dream fulfilled is a tree of life.” (Proverbs 13:12)

But does that mean we should do away with hope?

Hope: To Have or Not To Have

Although there seems to be a toxic relationship between hope and despair, it still doesn’t mean we are better off without it.

To an extent, hope in itself is the essence of life. Regardless of how bad things get in our lives, we wake up each day ready to go at life again because of the hope we have that things will get better. Hope drives us, encourages us to strive for better, motivates us to keep pushing, and assures us of better days ahead. In a nutshell, hope keeps us alive.

I’ll close this post with a quote from the TV series “Ted Lasso”.

“I’ve been hearing this phrase y’all got over here that I ain’t too crazy about. “It’s the hope that kills you.” Y’all know that? I disagree, you know? I think it’s the lack of hope that comes and gets you. See, I believe in hope. I believe in belief. Now, where I’m from, we got a saying too. A question, actually. ‘Do you believe in miracles?'” 

– Theodore “Ted” Lasso.

I believe in hope. I believe in miracles.