Lately, I’ve been having more than a few bouts of painfully unproductive days — at least, by my own standards. You know that moment when you’ve got a ton of things to get to but can’t bring yourself to work on anything. So you sit at your table, shuffling through the tasks but not really doing any of them. And after hours of fruitless “task-tour”, you decide that you’re better off actively doing nothing than deceiving yourself.

In such moments, I eventually wind up frustrated. This frustration stems from my awareness of the consequences attached to failing to fulfill those tasks yet being unable to get them done. It’s like intending to take a walk only to realize you have your legs cuffed to a beam – except that there are no physical cuffs in sight, just you against you. A few days ago, I stumbled on a Medium article that explained this conflict, citing the concept of “Internal resistance” as a hindrance to our productivity (more on this in another post).

My focus today is on the frustration we feel from being unproductive and how we react to them. Whenever we slack on our goals or have “lazy days” we didn’t plan for or generally didn’t do the things we said we would do, we are disappointed in ourselves. But how exactly do we handle these disappointments?

Be Your Own Best Friend

Failing at something we value can be tough to deal with. There are usually two versions of us — the current “wise” version of ourselves that feels we should be doing better and the guilty unproductive version. It’s often not a friendly discourse between them, and it’s easy to slip into self-loathing.

I talk to myself a lot. From time to time, I engage in verbal interactions with myself, especially when taking walks alone. I have come to value this trait of mine as it serves as an interesting source of inspiration. But when in crisis, it could have adverse effects.

If you’re anything like me, you might find the wise version of yourself scolding your unproductive self. For others, this frustration is expressed differently, but the victim is the same — you. The truth is, if we spoke to (or related with) our friends half the way we speak to (or relate with) ourselves when we mess up, we would have no friends.

It is a common belief (and much easier) to forgive the mistakes of other people. We should learn to extend such grace to ourselves as well. We must learn to show ourselves more love by understanding that we might not always get things right all the time. And while we stand as good friends to others, we ought to be our own best friends.

Too Much On Your Plate?

While trying to resolve my streak of unproductive days, I shared my plight with my accountability circle (more like a triangle. Lol). I was advised to list out everything I had to do on a sheet of paper. After doing that, I realized it was almost impossible for one person to do all the outlined tasks in the time frame I gave myself.

I had overestimated myself, and my inability to reach the unrealistic bar I set for myself made me not even try jumping. I was unable to do any of them because I wasn’t able to do all of them. So whenever you feel like you’re stuck, you might probably be biting more than you can chew. Sometimes, we slack on our goals not because we’re lazy but simply because we over-exaggerated our capabilities.

Count Your Blessings

“19 good + 1 bad = 20 bad”
I saw the above quote somewhere. Although it was used in the context of being cancelled by others over one wrongdoing, I think it might find some application in our context.

Whenever we fail to accomplish our set tasks or goals, we are quick to condemn ourselves. We tag ourselves lazy, unproductive, and undisciplined. We use that one failure to define ourselves. Most times, our previous achievements prove otherwise.

Instead of going hard on ourselves, a better alternative is to pause and reflect on our previous wins or recount days of peak performance. This approach helps us restore a positive outlook on ourselves. It also reminds us of our potentials to be productive – we’re only having a bad day. The new equation becomes:
“19 good + 1 bad = 20 good”.

So if you ever find yourself having an unproductive day or failing to achieve a goal, always remember to be kind to yourself. Count your blessings, show yourself some grace, and come back stronger.