By Michael Oyinloye

This is a fascinating topic to pen out. 

People.

Not only is this write-up about people, but they also happen to be the audience. I am a man of simple words who believes simplicity and complexity are two extremes of the same spectrum. So I will keep this simple.

People – The best part of God’s creation, yet they possess the capacity to make you feel the worst. Simple yet complex, empathetic yet gruesome beings. A Yoruba adage my aunty always said to me while growing up goes thus: “Ti aba ni ka diju ki eni ibi koja, ti eni ire o fi ko ja, a o ni mo”, meaning if we close our eyes because an evil person may pass by, we will miss the good person passing by.

My love for people did not stem from how much they had done for me or were willing to do. It was born out of lessons learnt from genuine impeccable experiences –positive and negative– in my day-to-day interactions. There’s a saying, “people are all we’ve got”, and I believe this holds true. From birth, we are continuously dependent on other people to cater to our needs and help us get by. Also, when we eventually return to our maker, it becomes the responsibility of those we leave behind to lay our bodies to rest.

In a world where no news is good news, we are constantly exposed to negative news and thoughts around interpersonal relationships of different kinds among people of various calibres. This information stream subconsciously fills our hearts and shapes our perception of others. Selfishness is gradually replacing selflessness, and it seems to be more appealing by the hour.

Dear reader, it is necessary to pay attention to what you confess and take in as the universal law of attraction respects no man. It is possible to experience amazing relationships contrary to the negative testimonials we see around. You can have the best of relationships with people too! People have so many hidden potentials to harness. By blacklisting everyone, we pass on the chance to benefit from them. 

I decided that if I could see one good example out of hundreds, that would become my role model. If there is none, I will strive to be a good example. In striving to be a good example, you might just be the pathfinder, and someone might be looking up to you. Dr. Myles Munroe puts it this way, and I paraphrase; It is unfair for you to die without releasing your potential to the world.

Take a moment and reflect, then ask yourself this question: How much value have you put into other people without expecting back?

You might recall that one outlier event where you gave your all, and it seemed as though all your effort was neglected, and you got hurt. I share your pain –I have been there myself. But if you’re being honest with yourself, there are definitely instances where people did come through for you. For every level we aspire to attain in life, someone would have to approve us. That job, scholarship, and visa applications – all these have people on the other end. 

Always seek to offer value to everyone you come across even if they don’t appear to deserve it and do it without seeking repayment. An unexplainable satisfaction and joy come with putting a smile on another person’s face. 

How do I improve in my relationships? You may ask.

I started by looking inwards at myself. According to Eckhart Tolle in his book “The Power of Now”, the planet’s pollution is an outward reflection of inner psychic pollution. I had to ask myself some questions. Was I willing to see myself another time if I met myself for the first time? Was I approachable?

We are often focused on improving our Emotional intelligence (EQ) and possibly Intelligence Quotients (IQ). We also need to improve our Cultural Intelligence (CI), especially in our current day when networking seems more critical than ever. In being more culturally intelligent, we learn to see and appreciate the uniqueness in people. In their book, Cultural Intelligence, David Thomas and Kerr Inkson described how as individuals, “we perceive information with cultural and other cues embedded in it and interpret it in light of our own preconceived frameworks”. They named this behaviour a “cultural cruise control”, which depicts judging things only from the default setting of our cultural backgrounds and stereotypes. 

My goal is not to talk as a motivational speaker, but here is an objective truth for all spheres of life and confirmed by many folks. What makes the difference between extraordinary and ordinary is the “EXTRA”. The difference between you and the other person who seems to have it all together in their general relationships is the extra effort they put to make things work.   

It’s okay to choose you, but it’s even better to choose others sometimes. Learn about other people’s cultures and be ready to adapt as situations change. The next time you see the grocery man or lady, smile at them and be nice. In Jordan Smith’s words, “It takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright”. Empathy does not discriminate. If it crosses your mind to reach out to someone, take action. You may be their hope for the day. 

I hope you will keep believing in people and being the light they see. I hope you’d be the person you want to see in others. I hope you’d recognise the gift called “People”.

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Connect with Michael:
LinkedIn – Michael Oyinloye
Medium – Oyinloye Michael Adebayo
Instagram – @4realade