Some experiences reveal our true character and expose the lofty myths that make up our lives. I’ve had some of such experiences myself. And to mark the 7th anniversary of my graduating high school, I decided to recount one funny experience from high school where I almost met my waterloo.

Thankfully though, I was quick-witted enough to bail myself out of the situation without any significant damage, and I have managed to keep it a secret all these years. Well, it’s time to let the cat out of the bag:)

Storytime!:)

The year was 2014. I was in my final year of high school (SS3 in the Nigerian education system) in an all-boarding school. As is often the case, that class comes with a sense of authority over the rest of the school coupled with a subtle aura of rebellion towards the school authority. My set was no different. We had earned the reputation of “the worst set in the school’s history” (which is what they say of every final year class) quite early. And it wasn’t just some talk, as they went on to dish out a good number of suspensions to the set. To be fair, many of them were undeserved. All of this to say that there was quite some tension between my class and the school authority.

To make matters worse, it seemed some teachers enjoyed being at loggerheads with the senior students and made it a point of duty to cross us at the slightest opportunity. Some of these encounters were quite silly, and given that the school constantly sided its teachers, they always found a way to brand us as the guilty party. Today’s story is all about one of such encounters.

As it happened, there were these two male corpers (members of the Nigerian Youth Service Corps) coincidentally deployed to our school in our final year. They were contrasting in physical looks –one of them was lanky while the other was much shorter and chubby, but they seemed to make a good tag team. It was common to find them together as they often roamed the school as a pair.

Unfortunately, they weren’t one of those corpers that endeared themselves to students. They were quite the opposite. Upon arrival, they quickly joined the bandwagon of staff keen on locking horns with senior students, and their presence almost always spelt trouble. We eventually nicknamed them “Aki and PawPaw” as a result of their character. If you’re conversant with Nollywood movies, you would know those names are synonymous with trouble-making. Today’s story stems from one such trouble parade.

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For perspective, I was not only one of the youngest in my set at age 15, but I was also one of the smallest sizewise, and I had learnt to cut my coat according to my cloth. I knew I wasn’t as strong as most, so I avoided trouble as much as possible, both with fellow set mates and with the school staff. Of course, I engaged in a few heated exchanges here and there, but I was always careful to end it on a verbal note, as that was where my strength lay. I was witty with them words but spineless in physical combats.

One notable time when I crossed the line happened in SS2. I had hit a bigger classmate for teasingly touching my freshly cut bald head (which my dad always made sure was shaved completely) on the first day of resumption. In my defence, I had warned him not to. He was shocked on impact and took a while to process what had just happened, and while other classmates jeered, I silently prayed he wouldn’t react. Well, he did, and the series of slaps that followed reminded me that although they were my classmates, some of them were not my mates.

Thankfully, not many people were present as it was the first day of resumption, so it didn’t cause much damage to my reputation.

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Back to my encounter with “Aki and PawPaw”…
I’ll quickly state that I wasn’t the main character in the original scene. But somewhere along the line, I had my own spinoff that made the story personal.

It was sometime in the middle of our final exams season, and I had gone to class for prep. Although it was a mandatory function at my school, not many SS3 students turned up. It was sometimes more convenient to study in the dormitories while other students were away. Many of those that came around were there because of the social atmosphere.

The Buildup…

On that fateful night, I had fallen asleep while trying to study (which happened quite often), and I don’t know how long I had slept when I was jolted out of it by some noise around me. I turned and noticed a classmate with some kind of tussle with Aki and PawPaw. It was towards the end of prep time, and the class was almost empty as many people had returned to the dormitories.

I cannot remember what exactly the matter was. However, it was easy to tell that the corpers were drunk (which was well in their character), and were only seeking trouble where there was none.

As the night progressed, the matter quickly escalated. News reached the boys’ dorm, one thing led to another, and soon enough, it was the whole set against a handful of the school staff. We came out of our dorms as a group in solidarity with one of our own, and confrontations ensued. Well, I wasn’t going to confront anybody. I was simply there to see how things would pan out, and I felt safe amid the herd.

However, Aki and PawPaw were not looking to back down, and they quickly called for backup. They got some, and there we were, going back and forth with the teachers outside our dorm gate. I also can’t remember what happened next (I think we were asked to take down our names, which definitely meant trouble). All I remember is that someone gave a cue, and everyone scampered away in different directions.

And that was the start of my adventure…

They quickly ordered the security man to lock the dorm gates so no one could go in, and we were stuck outside. We were scattered all over the school, and somehow, we had to figure out a way to get into our dormitories without getting caught. I was part of the group that dashed to the dining hall for safety. There was a little bush in-between the dining hall and the dormitories that led right up to one of the fences. So my group decided to go through the bush and jump over the fence and into the dorm yard.

I wasn’t sure of my fence-jumping abilities. From the little I knew about myself, my upper body didn’t perform so well in such activities, but I had no option but to tag along. We crawled our way through the bush, got to the fence, and the able guys started leaping over. In no time, I was the only one at that side of the wall as, one after the other, my comrades all scaled the fence.

I made a few attempts to do the same, but my doubts were confirmed when I couldn’t lift myself over the fence. The fence was a good height, and there was no place for foot support. To get over it, you had to pull yourself up and over, but my upper body strength failed me. I knew right away I was in big trouble.

From where I stood, I could hear some staff at the gate yelling at any sight of a body. It was impossible to get in through the gates without getting into trouble, and I couldn’t jump a fence to save my life. The bright street lights in and around the dormitories didn’t help matters either, as they made it easy for one to be spotted. I immediately regretted not heeding the advice of my best buddy, who had a thing for sensing trouble a mile away and evading it before it arrived. He wasn’t part of the solidarity parade and had warned me to stay back, but my curiosity got the better of me.

The Plan…

Well, I now had a situation at hand, and I had to think up a solution. If I wasn’t strong, I was smart –or so I thought. I decided to run to the SS2 block, as it was the farthest away from the dormitory, and wait out the chaos. My plan was to return to the hostel when everything had died down and claim to be a junior student who slept off during prep and was left behind. At least, my stature should sell my tale.

I quickly made my way to the SS2 block and hid away in one of the classes. The wait was terrible. One minute seemed like an hour, but I was willing to wait for as long as it took to guarantee my safety. After a while, just when I thought my ‘perfect’ plan was going to pull off, I heard some footsteps in the distance. I was scared. “Who could that be?”, “What do they want?”, “What if I’m caught?”, “Will I be suspended from school?”, “What will my mates think of me?”, “What do I tell my parents?”. Questions like these raced my mind as the footsteps drew closer and closer.

I decided to stick to my plan and placed my head on the desk I sat on as though I was asleep. The footsteps walked up to the class where I was, and I felt the rays from a torchlight as they hit my face. Then a voice called out to me, and instantly I knew it was Aki and PawPaw at the window.

Of course, I was supposedly asleep, so I didn’t reply to their calls hoping that they would simply go away. They didn’t. Instead, they came to me and began interrogating me. I claimed to be an SS2 student who accidentally slept off in class, but they were having none of it. They said they recognized me from the group, and they knew I was hiding in that class. I stood my ground as I sensed they were tipsy, but they weren’t buying my story.

Eventually, they asked for my name. I instantly knew I couldn’t give out my real name as that will seal my fate, and I also knew I couldn’t give them a name that existed in my set either. So in split seconds, I scanned my brain for a pseudonym that wouldn’t implicate me or anyone else in the school.

“My name is Suleiman” I said. “Suleiman, right?” they asked. “Yes, Suleiman” I replied. They believed me. It turned out my pseudonym wasn’t perfect after all as there was another Suleiman in the school, but he was in JS2, so it wasn’t a problem. They said they would come to the SS3 block to look for me the next day. I wasn’t concerned about that. All I wanted was to get through the night unnoticed.

After much back and forth, they decided to let me go, convinced they had my identity. The walk back to the hostel was longer than usual. Everywhere was calm, and I was constantly looking around to make sure I was alone on the path. I eventually got to the dorm gate and told my preconceived tale. I’m not sure if the security man bought my story or not, but he let me in.

Back to safety…

After confirming my safety, I had to also verify if my ordeal was known to the other boys. So I headed straight to the dorm rooms where the matter was still being discussed. As expected, they asked how I got in and where I’ve been. I told them I got in a long time ago, and I’ve been in my room all the while. They believed me.

After a short tour around all the dorms, it was clear that my experience was my little secret, and I was determined to keep it like that… well, until now:).

Throughout the night, I wondered if they’ll actually come looking for “Suleiman” and hoped they wouldn’t. Fast forward to the following morning, they showed up on our block asking for the “Suleiman” they caught the night before. I saw them from afar and made sure I was out of sight. The other boys immediately dismissed them and concluded they made up the name to get a random victim. I alone knew the Suleiman they sought.

And for the rest of the year, I made sure not to cross paths with them for fear of being recognized. Legends have it that they’re still looking for Suleiman to date. I also learned not to join a protest if I wasn’t sure how to get out of it. Above all, I was once again reminded that, although I was classmates with the other boys, not every one of them was my mate.

And that, my friends, is how I knew I wasn’t brave… I believe I have grown since then, but that is a story for another day:)

PS: I am not proud of all the lies I told in this experience, but that was the only way I knew to get myself out of trouble. I know better now.