For today’s blog post, I planned to write on something from my list of preconceived ideas. I sat at my computer past midnight trying to put the post together. After going at it for a while, my mind abruptly wandered off and perched on a thought that instantly got me in my feelings. Somehow, I couldn’t go on with composing the post I had set out to write, so I decided to flow with the encroaching thought instead. It might turn out to be a little different from the regular posts on here and a bit lengthy too, but I guess it’ll be worth it.

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My (only) sister turns 10 today. (And today’s post is dedicated to her)

I know… That doesn’t seem like a big deal… except that it is. And I’ll tell you why in a moment.

But before anything, let’s rewind the tape a bit.

*****

New Squad Member

So it’s the year 2011. I was 12 years old and the first of 3 boys in my family — my younger brothers aged 9 and 6. And even though I had nursed the secret desire to have a sister, I believed that was our final lineup.

In fact, we were so convinced that we referred to ourselves as the “3 ninjas”, thanks to the classic movie with the same title. That was one of our favourite movies at the time, and we identified as Rocky, Colt, and Tum Tum, in that order. We never got bored of rewatching it as many times as they played it on cable TV. You best believe we also practiced the karate moves on each other… because, why not?)

Well, all of this was about to change. Our squad formation was going to be altered, and delightfully so. Doing the math, we probably have Valentine to thank for the addition. I remember that beautiful Monday afternoon like it was yesterday. It’s so vivid in my mind, with a good part of the details still intact. I always recall it with a smile.

It started off like any other day, with everything going as usual. My mum casually stepped out that morning, and I presumed she was off to work. Later that afternoon, I sat at the table with my brothers for a late lunch when we got the tidings of our newborn sister.

Overwhelmed by excitement, we had no need for the food anymore. Lunch was over. In no time, we were dressed and ready to visit the baby at the hospital, which is only a 10 minutes walk away from where we reside. We were beside ourselves with ecstasy and couldn’t keep our cool. My immediate younger brother and I raced the distance to the hospital. This was the first of many battles over custody of the baby when she wasn’t in her mother’s arms.

I remember walking over to the little bed where she lay seemingly unbothered by all the excitement in the room. She was probably wondering how she got there, having been in a different environment in the 9 months before. It was love at first sight. She was all shades of innocence. So tender, yet so beautiful.

Unfortunately, I had just 1 week to spend with my newfound love. At the time, I was transiting from Junior high school to Senior high school, and I was moving to a new boarding school. Resumption was slated for the following Monday—exactly one week after she was born. I was aware that I would be away for a while, so I made it a point of duty to savour every moment with her until my departure.

Over the next few years, I looked forward to every holiday with extra enthusiasm. Whenever I was home, I’d have to contend with my brothers to look after her. Given that I was mostly away, I was definitely not her favourite caretaker, and I had to put in more effort to woo her into my arms. Every effort was worth it.

Fast forward to 2014, the older of my two brothers passed on from an illness (bless his soul). She was 2 years old at the time and had grown really fond of him, but her little mind couldn’t comprehend the concept of death. I graduated college a couple months later and relocated to the house full time.

From time to time, she’ll hit me with the “When is KayCee coming back?” –she had visited him at the hospital where he was admitted. I struggled to provide her with answers. Whenever it came up, I always tried to change the topic, and if she remained persistent, I simply told her “soon”. With time, the questions came less frequently and soon seized entirely. She probably realized he was never coming home.

The Makeshift Nanny

After completing high school, my initial attempt to get into the university was futile. This meant I had to sit out an entire school year. With my brother away at a boarding school, and my parents going about their jobs, I automatically doubled as a brother and a nanny. And for the next year and a half, that was my full-time job —one that I loved and hated at the same time.

I loved spending time with her after school, helping with her assignments, making sure she was well-fed, and putting her to sleep afterward. However, I hated that I had to miss out on an entire school year. It was a bittersweet experience. In retrospect, I wouldn’t trade those special moments for any academic pursuit.

I soon realized that taking care of a toddler was not an easy task. With toddlers, every day is laundry day. They cry for the silliest reasons and often decide themselves when it’s time to stop. They get hungry randomly, and they’re the most energetic when you’re tired — that’s if they ever get tired.

*****

It’s been 10 years since that unforgettable Monday afternoon, and how time flies! In my household, the 10th birthday is a huge one. You’re entitled to a birthday party on your big 10. She has been enthusiastic about turning 10 and doesn’t miss any opportunity to remind everyone of her big day. If only I could be present for the party.

I’ve been away from home since November 2016, which means I’ve had to observe more than half of her life from the sidelines. To be honest, it hurts sometimes. At first, I didn’t consider it a big deal. But as the years roll by, I slowly realize I’m missing out on some of the most significant years of her life, and I can’t even do anything about it.

When I left home to study halfway across the world, I didn’t really take this trade-off into consideration. Well, not like I’d have acted any different, but at least I’d have been better prepared for it. We have since settled for weekly video calls with family, and I cherish every one of those calls as they’re my only means of catching up with the happenings at home.

My little baby is now a big girl. She just got into high school, and she has a new best friend from her class, who is teaching her to write in cursive. She recently opted to trim her hair low. According to her, it was stressful having to make the hair all the time. We also have a pending pizza date and several other outings to catch up on, and I’m looking forward to getting to all of it soon.

*****

If you have read up until this point, you might be wondering what this post is all about. I’m not even sure myself. But as I mentioned at the start, I’m only penning down my thoughts as they are. I’m not even sure my sister will get to see the post anytime soon, but I hope that when she does, she’ll understand that even in my absence, the love runs deep.

Happy birthday my Zam Zam!!
Cheers to many more beautiful years ahead:))