One of the consequences of being a photographer is that most of the time, you are left out of the picture. Pun intended:).

Don’t get me wrong, I have been closely associated with the art of photography for about 3 years now and I totally love it, both as a hobby and professionally. However, one thing I struggled with when I first encountered the field was having to choose between being behind the camera and in front of it.

Apparently, I chose to be behind the scenes (and I am without regrets). But being someone who loved the idea of being photographed – primarily for memory’s sake and partly for the gram, it was difficult having to stick to one side of the camera at the expense of the other.

I’ll give a little back story for more perspective…

Storytime…

I first came across photography when I moved to Russia to study back in 2016. Upon arrival, I did join a church and quickly discovered that they had a pretty robust media team of highly professional personnel. The quality of their output was quite impressive given that the team was made of full-time students, and I was somewhat bought over by it.

One of the things I loved about Sunday services, of course apart from the blissful fellowship and having a great time, was that we got high-quality photos for free!:) I mean, photoshoots can be quite pricey sometimes, but at church, there was a high chance of getting high-end photos both during the service and after, simply for the price of being a member of the church.

Fast forward to when I eventually felt ready to serve in some capacity in the church, I observed the media team for a while and not only did I fall in love with their output but also with the process involved, so I opted to join the team. Well, also because as a member of the team, you get to be trained by those professionals for free which otherwise can be very expensive.

I chose to serve as a photographer and I was pretty excited about the adventure. I enjoyed getting acquainted with the “how” behind creating those photos I marveled at and also being able to create them myself. Being able to bring out the beauty from otherwise mundane things was quite intriguing and I loved being a part of that. On the other hand though, what that meant was that as the content creator, I can’t feature in the creation – at least, for most of it.

The battle

At first, this wasn’t much of an issue to me. At least, not until I had gone on a streak of Sundays serving in that capacity, delivering beautiful photos to the church members, and seeing them flaunted across social media platforms with none to my name. That was when it hit home. I suddenly realized that I had pursued my interest in the know-how at the expense of the benefits I enjoyed when I was yet ignorant of the field. The fact that I captured the other members of the media team at their work posts with no one to reciprocate the gesture rubbed it in the more. It seemed unfair.

In all of this internal sulkiness, which I ensured not to make obvious to anyone, one major thing amongst others that kept me on the job was my “Why?” – Why did I opt to serve in that capacity in the first place? My ability to answer that question reinforced my drive. In fact, over time, as I explored the craft deeper, I fell so much in love with being behind the camera that I gradually lost the desire to be photographed. Now, it takes extra effort and a special occasion to get me in front of the camera. Although, I still love myself some fire shots here and there – plus I’m learning to take more selfies:).

“What does my petty story have to do with anything?”, you might ask…

To be honest, I also asked myself the same question as I wasn’t sure. I just felt like sharing my plight with y’all:)

Luckily though, I found an answer and I will try to articulate my thoughts as best as I can.

Know your Why

Sometimes, our interests conflict and appear to be mutually exclusive – that is, it is seemingly impossible to have all available options at the same time, and picking either would mean sacrificing the others. We are faced with such situations at different moments ranging from trivial matters, such as picking an outfit for an event or deciding what TV show to tune into at a given time, to more serious circumstances, like picking a university major or a career path or even learning a skill. And there are some special cases where our choices define and shape the rest of our lives, such as picking a spouse. (Any error in decisions like this comes with grave consequences we might have to live with for the rest of our lives).

Regardless of what the case may be, the concern is the same. As much as we would like to engage all our options, the nature of the interests in question makes such wishes unrealizable and we are stuck in a dilemma.

Think Long Term

Usually, when we get to these crossroads, it is very easy to be tempted to take the seemingly ‘most rewarding’, but it is necessary to pause and seek the “why” behind each possible choice before you. Vetting the motives and analyzing behind and weighing them against each other gives us a better perspective of the real value. Judging by prospective benefits alone isn’t enough and can be deceptive. Sometimes, the most flamboyant option, though with a good measure of immediate gratification, might not be so relevant to us in the long run.

What is the driving force behind your choices? Why are you picking option A over option B? How does each option play into your bigger picture? Are you looking beyond the surface value of your options? Does it stand beneficial in the long run?

Providing answers to such questions minimize the uncertainty associated with making certain decisions and reduces the chances of having any regrets going forward. In addition to going with the option with maximal value, it also eliminates thoughts of what would have been if you chose otherwise.

What decisions are you faced with and how are you going about them?